Match.com and Eharmony ask a plethura of questions in an attempt to pair you up with the right person. I know how extensive they are because I’ve artfully, laboriously and hesitantly answered each of them at one time or another.
One question that won’t appear on either questionnaires is “Do you believe Bill Cosby is a rapist?”
Also missing is “Do you think R. Kelly is a pedophile?”
But the answers to those questions could reveal a lot about a man. At least to me.
Years ago, after dating someone for a year or so, I was comfortable enough to have “the talk.”
The one where we discussed why one of my exes is now a registered sex offender and convicted as an attempted kidnapper.
After I poured out my heart, he told me everything I needed to know about him with 9 piercing words:
“What did you do to make him do that?”
Victim shamers don’t wear a sign.
But if you ask the right question, or have the right talk, they will reveal themselves.