Since I made no progress on my site redesign yesterday, I was going to work on it today.
Then I got an e-mail that made me ponder some things.
Who really knows you?
How many times have we been in relationship with someone and not been honest with them or just held back how we felt?
I’m blessed beyond measure to have people in my life who KNOW me. I mean, REALLY KNOW me.
There are just three people who I can say know EVERYTHING there is to know about me.
Not that I keep secrets. For a while, I thought I didn’t share some ugly truths, just because I don’t want others to know.
After reflecting this morning, I realized that’s not the truth.
The truth is, that at age 47, I am the sum of many of my experiences and the negative ones take nothing away from who I am.
And not everyone needs to know how I got to be me.
Everyone has their own journey, and has to find their own way.
I recently shared with someone that I stopped modeling because I don’t like people staring at me all the time. And it’s true.
I don’t like to take pictures – I don’t like all eyes on me. And while some people thrive on that, I’ve had more than my share of it.
I stand 5’10” and have been that height since I was 13 years old. For years, when I walked into a room all eyes turned to me. As a model, when I walked in the room, I commanded it. I got every head to turn in my direction. But, I didn’t want what came with it.
Suddenly, my life was focused on what I looked like. My exterior was more important than the inside and it was not a good feeling for me.
The strange thing about my life now is that I’m not seeking attention. And, still I get it. I get requests for interviews, and I’m always amazed. Why ME?
I shared some of this with a friend this morning and I said I wanted to be like Diane Warren.
Many of you won’t even recognize the name, but, you KNOW her music. According to Wikipedia: “Her songs have received six Academy Award nominations, five Golden Globe nominations, including one win and seven Grammy Award nominations, including one win. She was inducted into the Songwriters Hall of Fame in 2001. Her success in the US has been paralleled in the UK, where she has been rated the third most successful female artist…She was the first songwriter in the history of Billboard to have seven hits, all by different artists, on the singles chart at the same time..Meanwhile, her songs have been featured in more than 70 films or television shows…”
When I started in the music industry years ago, I remember wanting to meet her, but, she never did interviews. And then one day, I saw her in a rare television appearance.
She told the story of how she was getting on a plane and had forgotten her identification. She happened to have a magazine article about herself and went to the flight counter to verify who she was.
I don’t want to be the person who can’t walk down the street without feeling the pressure of people wanting to know the public persona of me.
I want to be the person who people recognize for a job well done and only those who read an entire article, stay until the end of the movie, watch the television show and see those credits rolling to know that I did my part. I did the best that I could, and you don’t need a picture of me to prove it. And the people who KNOW me, know this is what drives me the most!
Who really knows YOU?
I dedicate this video “Because You Loved Me” to those who have known me, longer than I’ve known myself – because I could not have evolved into who I am today without you. Performed by Celine Dion, as written by the incomparable Diane Warren!